Unsteady and Going Nowhere

A star vehicle that truly defies classification, reason and any sense of propriety.

Having already been subjected to the inanities of Anees Bazmee’s packaged and processed assembly line sense of humor once this summer, I walked into his latest Salman Khan starrer, Ready, with a certain sense of trepidation. As it would turn out, my fears were not necessarily unfounded. Ready is one of those concoctions of immiscible liquids, where each individual component stands in stark separation from the other. Part music video, part stand up comedy act and part gag reel, the film plays out in an entirely arbitrary fashion. This is an out and out vehicle for the comedic stylings of Salman Khan and one would do well to relinquish hope of creative concern or cohesion of narrative.

The plot, which is entirely an incidental presence in this film, is quite simple. The wayward heir of a rich joint family must unite the warring factions of the girl’s family in the two and a half hour timeline between the rolling of the T-series logo and the end credits. If a near effulgent picture of Gulshan Kumar or the animated titles, reminiscent of a time when Doordarshan was the only channel around, are not sign enough that this film is a blast from the past, then every carelessly concocted gag and action sequence that follows is. Prem (Salman Khan playing Salman Khan) is the trouble making son of the oldest of the brothers Kapoor. His character, as established by the grand Broadway musical opening number, is circumspect to say the least. The family priest’s recommendation of marriage and a case of mistaken identities bring Sanjana (Asin, probably cast for her ability not to betray absolute incredulity at the proceedings) into his life. To the Kapoor family it appears that Sanjana has waltzed into their lives sans baggage, but neither they nor we (or at least those of us who haven’t been subjected to the two South Indian versions of this story) are aware of what lies in store.

One needs look no further than the chartbuster Dinka Chika, to see that the film is a parody of itself. The large assembly of bespectacled children and outlandishly adorned dancers execute signature moves in front of a house-full board in a theater playing the movie they are all supposedly a part of. Oddly enough, the hubris of this meta imagery does not invoke irritation, just laughter. Ready is completely aware of what it is and is totally unapologetic about it. And for this reason it is impossible to stay mad at it. No star, not even the venerable Rajinikanth, wears his kitsch on his sleeve like Salman does. There is some measure of performance in the southern star’s mannerisms; an effort to take the film he is in seriously that is totally absent in Salman’s affectations. And while some may claim that a lobotomy is requisite to see the positives in Ready, it is not without its absurdly funny moments. Consider, for instance, a ridiculous signboard that just reads ‘JUNGLE’ or an actor establishing his lack of culture by assiduously ensuring his wine is on the rocks. But if one is incapable of sitting through hours of drivel for a second of laughter, Ready is not the film one should expend one’s time and money on.

 

P.S: An edited version appears in today's City Express supplement of the New Indian Express. Link here.