Loss

Yesterday I lost the person who, for all practical purposes, was the closest approximation to a grandparent in my life. Terming relationships in English just serves to increase the separation. "My uncle's mother-in-law" somehow engenders a distance that the word "ammamma" does away with. In many ways I hardly knew her. I never shared with her the relationship that my cousin sister did. She was always blessed in that her relationship with most family members have suffered little duality. They've all taken the healthy route from authority-figure to sounding board to trusted confidant to firm friendship. But my innate tendency to be a fly on the wall, even within my own home, allowed me the chance to understand "ammamma" for the remarkable woman she was. Thanks to her, well before I knew the words straight-shooter, I knew what it meant. She was a simple woman from simpler times with fewer shades of gray. And an uncompromising realist in every sense. Brutal honesty was not reserved for those she felt she was comfortable enough to deal it out to. It was presented palatably to anyone who incurred her ire.
So yesterday, as she was surrounded by people who didnt need more than one word to describe their relationship with her in English, I was unsure to the extent to which I should involve myself in the proceedings. I did all the external administration work, of course, but always retreated when the more stringently defined procedures came into place. The more you live life, the less one needs to be comfortable with definitions. Education doesn't equip you for jack.